We’ve all heard of blind dates. These are exciting, scary, and look like great ideas for how to spend time with your significant other. But as we get older, it’s not so easy to meet the right person. Perhaps your busy schedule isn’t allowing a lot of opportunities to meet new people. Maybe you’ve been dating for a long time and are tired of it, or maybe you just really don’t know what to do with all these new people you meet. Many of your friends may have met their significant others late-night, during happy hour, or some other timely, convenient moment. It’s easy to feel like your friends have it all figured out and you are left alone to your own devices. New possibilities rarely have any great opportunities at the start, but the more time you spend together, the more chances you have to smell success. The secret to successful dating in the new millennium is to create opportunities to meet people.
The old cliche of creating opportunities to meet people sounds great, but it’s a pretty large contradiction. Right now, most people are limited by their choice of dating partners. People remain in a mediocre occupation, avoiding dating, or they spend their evenings testing their waters by dating casually. They aren’t having great opportunities to meet new people.
What does it take to live in the “all of the above” paradox? The first step is to create opportunities. Continue to stay open. Even if your job isn’t that great, you continue to improve it, getting experience, and learning different methods. Join an organization or class that is interesting, or Special Interest clubs to join pro sports, comedy troupes, alternative music labels, and/or fine dining restaurants. These are great opportunities for meeting new people.
Interest clubs are a great, effective place to meet people with similar interests. Whether you are planning to attend a musical performance of which you’d love to become a fan or an art exhibit that you’ve wanted to see but someone else has already put in a large investment, these opportunities present themselves almost effortlessly. You can simply indicate your interest in the matter, and see if they are interested in sharing it with you. Interest clubs often maintain a relatively mature atmosphere, making it easier to meet people who share your enthusiasm.
On the other hand, traditional weekend work around your job offer can present a large, impersonal obstacle. Still, a weekend workshop or a group tour is an excellent way to find out if you and the company are compatible, and there will be a large number of “yes” es to “yes” es. This kind of obstacle won’t present itself simply because you have invested your free time nicely looking for a promotion, or because you have been searching for the partner of your dreams. Instead, you are investing your free time to meet someone to date. There are dozens of such opportunities, many of which provide the more subtle, more subtle opportunities such as a smile and a wave or a glance, before turning back to another project.
Combining your interests, along with those of others you have met through volunteer activities or other reliable opportunities, is a brilliant strategy for making the right kinds of connections. Spurred by a curiosity about all the interesting people you see, and inspired by a willingness to try out many different personalities under the sun, you may very well end up meeting, and falling in love with, several interesting candidates. The key to success, however, is making that connection as soon as possible, without having to shed your own strong, particular qualities along the way. Leave your sense of responsibility at the door along with self-restraint, self-discipline, sense of humor, and any other traits that you judge to be a necessary vulnerability. The rest, as they say, is history.
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